So, I've just been getting back into the swing of things. I've been creating my packet of notes and bits and pieces from my slush pile to use in crafting a half-way decent story that I'll be able to pound into a kick ass third novel!
I won't say that I never thought I'd start writing again because that would be too dramatic, even for me. But, I will say I knew it would take some time. I've always had a problem forging ahead with new projects when old ones remain undone. Tricks for a Trade is a baby that is long overdue. I began writing it back in 2005, and thankfully, once I got the good ol' ego in check, I was able to let the story become what it is today. And I gotta say, I'm in love with what it has become, and am glad to see it finally brought to publication.
Along the way I've had to let a lot of things go, not to mention a few people, too. It simply had to be done if I was going to continue my journey as a writer, and become a success at it. I had to get rid of the nay sayers, and the people who insist that I be comfortable with being average. I had to kick to the curb the people who insist I be realistic , and downgrade my dreams because they didn't achieve theirs.
Bishop T.D Jakes speaks of the turtle and the giraffe, and how they both can co-exist in the same space and have two entirely different world views. And those views aren't necessarily bad either because the turtle eats what it views, and what it views is closer to the ground, whereas the giraffe eats from the tree tops. The giraffe doesn't need to endanger itself by following the turtle through its viewpoint. And so, I realized that I was allowing a lot of turtles to dictate to me what was what, when I should have been happy keeping my gaze high, even if it got a tad lonely. Because bringing myself down with the turtles, while I may have been in a lot of company, it wasn't the best company for me. And this is not to say that there is anything wrong with being a turtle. But there is something wrong with allowing oneself to compromise themselves on account of someone else who will never know or appreciate any world view beyond their own. Turtles will never enjoy the world from where a giraffe sees it.
Part of what made this transition appropriate was the fact that I finally realized that the person I suspected of sabotage was indeed trying to sabotage me. It didn't matter that he'd call me to tell me how much he loved me or how much he wanted me to succeed because he was always placing obstacles(i.e bad ideas) in my way. His actions showed me more than his words could ever express. And so, I had to get rid of him and what he represents. I will never have the conversation that I want to have with him, because I feel he's far too broken to own his part in this. Still, I wish him nothing but the best.
Let me encourage you to rid yourself of unnecessary things and people that serve no purpose besides slowing your progress. Stand firm in the belief that your self respect and self preservation is more important than hanging on to things and people that will never be of any true use to you.